Get Real: Hey Jealousy!

11 Jun

“Get Real” posts will have give you insight on topics that are real but not always pretty.

Jealousy

1. Resentment against a rival, person enjoying success or advantage or against another’s success or advantage itself.

Envy

1. A longing to possess something awarded to or achieved by another

I have struggled with both of these.  The main difference is jealousy denotes a resentment that another has gained something. This has been a recent struggle that has reared it’s ugly head!

In my experiences, either because we are in the South (raised with Southern hospitality) or because we are Mexican-American (don’t talk about our feelings), we mostly have not been taught to deal with or even acknowledge these feelings. IF we do talk about them, we usually make it gossip or chisme. We criticize la otra or others. Because if we can make him/her look bad, then we are justified in our feelings without having to admit we are jealous.

GREEN EYED MONSTER? photo from sxc.hu

Where I have noticed the green-eyed monster come out is in the area of career and success. Here are two examples of how I have recognized that I am jealous at times and envious at other times. And it’s not always with rivals but sometimes even friends. It ain’t pretty.

I am envious of someone else’s rockin’ project. I put a bid in to work on that project. It  just seems to be the coolest organization; they are so great at what they do; AND it is a well-paid gig.

I am envious. I long to possess such an awesome project.

I am jealous of a friend’s successful career. She is respected and has many recognized accomplishments. However, she’s made light of how much effort she actually gives, I don’t think that she really deserves her level of success.

(I told you it’s not pretty.)

I am jealous. I don’t want her life.

I just resent that she has had so much success with such little effort.

Looking for guidance, I began reading scriptures that teach us that being jealous is essentially bad for us and to not be jealous. (ok, that sounds right.) I also began reading devotionals on and offline. In one of the devotionals, these words jumped off the page:

“Jealousy can be a feeling of not believing you are enough.”

OUCH! That is the stabbing pain from the reality of the statement. Whether you believe in Jesus, the Universe or any higher power, it makes sense. If we (I) knew and actually believed – 100% of the time – that we are (I am) exactly where we (I) should be at the exact time and place, others’ success wouldn’t turn us (me) in to the green-eyed monster.

Here’s my plan to overcome this:

1. Prayer and meditation. I know how to do this: My post on thoughts and meditation.

2. Be willing to do the work!  Someone brilliant once told me: Jealousy can be a good thing if it makes you work harder to reach your goals.

3. Stop worrying about me and start to focus on helping others. Helping others with no expectations in return is like a golden ticket to enjoying life.

Do you know a Jealous Jane?

Can you recognize areas in your life where you might be seeing the green-eyed monster?

Can you get real about it?

post 11 of 35 … 

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2 Responses to “Get Real: Hey Jealousy!”

  1. mama2aidan June 12, 2012 at 12:38 pm #

    One of my big goals in life is to be happy with what I have. I read a quote once (& of course I can’t find it again to save my life) that said something along the lines of “Until we’re happy with what we have, we’ll never be happy with what we want.” This was so profound for me because I spent so many wasted years jealous of material possessions, career advancements, education, vacations, money, etc. Now I just think about that quote and remember to be happy with what I have, a happy marriage, a beautiful funny daughter, stable & steady income, loving parents and I don’t get jealous. Sure I could desire all these vacations but that would put us in crazy debt and look how long it took us to get out of debt.

    Am I making any sense? 😉

    • mendezgonzales June 12, 2012 at 12:47 pm #

      You totally make sense! I do pretty well when it comes to my family and material things … I have my days. It’s mainly the career/success thing that gets me.

      Good for you on getting yourself out of debt and really appreciating the life you have! That’s a blessing in itself.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

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