Tag Archives: tasks

THIS or THAT

15 Dec

If you ever want to get something done that you don’t feel like doing, task yourself to do something else that you don’t feel like doing EVEN MORE. 

I’ve been thinking and typing drafts for my next post.  Okay, mainly thinking.  During this time, I have managed to do the dishes, cook dinner, do the dishes again, complete 3 loads of laundry, bathe my boys and get them to bed.  And that is just in the time that I have made myself aware that I didn’t want to sit and type a blog post. 

Last week when I set this thing up, I was so excited.  I stayed up until 5 AM!  I committed to myself that I would post once a calendar week.  So, this week is going by and I’ve not posted.  Realizing this, I immediately get busy … doing other chores 🙂  And look what I have accomplished today!   

Here’s the deal … I don’t just do this with blogging.   (Obviously, I just started blogging.)  I do this in other areas of my life.  Really, all over my life.  When I don’t feel like doing anything I have committed to do, I start completing other tasks.  Here’s the kicker … I justify it by saying, “Well, I didn’t get THAT done but l did get THIS done!  THIS really needed to get done.  I did such a great job at THIS!” 

Insert anything for THAT … giving genuine attention to my boys … organizing my work … eating healthy meals … spending time with God … an unfinished home project … apologizing for something I did … anything. 

Taking action on something else and completing it allows me to justify my lack of responsibility in completing THAT.  Let me tell you, it doesn’t feel great.  I’d rather live a life in which I do what I committed to do.  Even if I only committed it to myself! 

The results of completing my original task is far more satisfying than trying to justify anything else.  Who cares if the dishes are done if I am walking around with a sense of incompletion?  I know enough to know “If mama aint’ happy, no one is happy.”  I’m much happier when I honor my word and commitments, especially the ones I made to myself.  My family deserves a happy mama. 

The good news – I recognize it now.  The time I spend doing THIS will become shorter and shorter before getting to the real THAT.  I recognize that I usually revert to housework.  If I’m avoiding a conversation, completing a task, exercising or whatever else I said I would do,  it appears to be a perfect time to get the laundry done! ha! 

What does it look like for you?  Can you recognize what your life looks like when you are avoiding a situation or not honoring your word to complete a task or project?

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What DO I want to do?

6 Dec

identity crisis  –noun

1. a period or episode of psychological distress, often occurring in adolescence but sometimes in adulthood, when a person seeks a clearer sense of self and an acceptable role in society.

2. confusion as to goals and priorities: The company is undergoing an identity crisis.

   I am the company and it is in adulthood.  
   Now the phrase “psychological distress” sounds so intimidating to me.  My immediate response is “Oh Melanie, you are so dramatic!”    So depending on the level of intensity you receive the term “identity crisis” you  may think the same thing.
   I really am not the most dramatic person I know.   I just went through a period of searching for my purpose.  I wanted to know what I was good at because earlier this year, I didn’t think I had any kind of talent.  See, I am in direct sales.  The part about direct sales that makes it so appealing is: “here is our plan.  you follow it.  you will have success.”  So I followed the plan.  I had some success.  I wasn’t happy with the results in my business.  So I attended several workshops, etc. to help me reach my goals.  None worked.  Not because of the educator, not because of the plan.  They didn’t work because I didn’t know what the heck I wanted to do. (the workshops did reveal important concepts that I may share in later posts)
   One day I was committed to being the top performer and the next day I wasn’t.  Deep down, I didn’t want to be in direct sales.  I just wanted all the community and motivation seminars.  However, I had created my whole identity in reaching my goals in this company so “how could I just walk away?!”
   I’m no longer pursuing leadership in direct sales.  I will admit, every now and then, it does cross my mind.  Part of me is still over there.  I choose everyday that I am whole and complete the way that I am; yes, the way God created me.  So part of knowing that  is acknowledging that part of me is still over there.  And then, I keep looking in my current direction.  See, I have found that my talents are within ME, not a plan.  A lot of my talents were developed in my direct sales career.  (There is good news!)  So today, my crisis is averted. 
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